I’ve had a long-standing theory that American men have a intimate fixation with poultry, especially chicken. I am not talking about eating chicken; I am talking about deeply repressed sexual attraction to chickens. I know...”What the hell are you talking about”? But, hear me out: there are patterns in our culture that support this idea. Think about all the chicken analogies we used daily. Why chickens? It is quite odd, but you can’t ignore the poultry allusions in our language and quite a few of them are sexual.
Consider the following:
1.“Did you see that chick”? or “Those chicks are hot.” While slightly offensive, it is culturally acceptable to refer to females as “chicks” in casual conversation. When used in this context, the definition veers off its fowl roots and heads into human sexuality. It describes desirable, youthful females. Moreover, it allows the slang user to disassociate himself from the young woman or women; maintaining the appearance to other men that he is in the game and not emotionally attached. He’s still his own man.
2.Henpecked is a common term that even has a spot in the English Dictionary. It also enjoys much attention in literature and film. A good example is The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, by James Thurber. Mitty is domineered by his wife and becomes meek and indecisive, but fantasized about being in control of his own life. He’s a pathetic victim of henpecking, by his wife...the henpecker. Again--woman becomes poultry, and in this case oppressive poultry.
3. Nesting is a term used at times to describe the behavior of women preparing for childbirth. The expecting female is getting her house in order, getting her coupe ready for a new addition to her flock. While this behavior is endearing and amazing to observe (from a man’s perspective), we opt to use a term associated with birds. After all, chickens are birds, right?
4.“Choking the chicken” is not such a subtle term. It’s slang for male masturbation. You are free to draw your own conclusions about this one, but its flat out repressed chicken love, in my opinion. The act of self-love finds its way to our ever present favorite fowl, the chicken.
5.Cock: Cock is a male chicken or rooster, but I bet when you saw the word, cock, you immediate thought of a penis. I don’t mean to get your cockles up, but hey...you thought it, not me. In fact, it is formally acknowledged that the work cock is obscene slang for penis. Look it up for yourself. Interesting. Male genitalia and poultry. You seeing the pattern yet?
6.Chickenhead has a lot of different meanings in our culture, but it is commonly associated with sexual acts and females. It does have other meanings, like in Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, by Philip K. Dick, its a term to describe slow or retarded people. But, you also hear it when teenagers are taking sex with their buddies. It’s pervasive in our vernacular.
7.“Taste like chicken” is a phrase used to describe something that has a common flavor or a flavor that lacks distinction. I have a funny story about this phrase. When I was a young teenager, my best friend was becoming sexually active and filled me in on all the details. He told about when he first had oral sex with his then girlfriend. He was a bit older than I was and, being 13, the idea to me was kind of, well...gross. But it was gross in a cool way, so I was curious. One day, I asked my dad about “eating girls out.” I asked him why guys did it and what it tasted like. He gave me that pained look a father gives when he’s hit with a bombshell question like that. But, he then looked straight in my eyes and said, “It tastes like chicken.” That was the end of the it. He didn’t flinch, laugh or indicate in any way he wanted to continue the conversation. Vaginas taste like chicken? I left the garage that day, baffled.
I can go on for days here, but you see the pattern. Men want to get with chickens, at least on a subconscious level. I was watching a commercial the other night; a Carl’s Jr. commercial featuring Dr. Robert Rey, famed plastic surgeon from Dr. 90210. Dr. Rey is consulting a chicken about Breast augmentation. He is advising the female fowl to increase her breast size. Bigger is better, right ladies? Carl’s Jr is advertising “Naturally Large Chicken Breast” sandwiches. Who is the audience for this ad? Men. Men, chickens. Are you seeing the pattern yet?
What does this mean? I have no clue and I’m probably just wasting mental energy even drawing conclusions about this. But you have to admit, it is interesting and you cannot deny the possibility.